Ooh! Shiny!!!

The other day I craved a ring. A shiny one with diamonds. I was looking at the sea of wedding rings that seems to surround me daily and thought "I want one!" The funny thing though, was that I don't think I wanted it because I'm marriage hungry. Oh no, I am much more shallow than that. I wanted one because they're pretty, and I like pretty things. That's right, pretty, sparkley things. I think the craving is worse because it seems that everyone has one except me these days. So it's like the ultimate fashion accessory--classy, gorgeous, lasts the rest of your life, and I'm the only one without one. It's like being the only one without your ears pierced, or without a perfect black dress. Or being the last little girl in your primary class to graduate from tights to grown-up woman nylons.

I had to laugh when I realized this. I really am fine not married, and I'm not really that jealous of those shiny rocks. I had never thought that of all the things I might envy when all my friends got married (being able to plan their future, starting their own family, their own kitchen, someone to hold them when they cry, someone to talk to every night, etc), it would be the most superficial that would bug me on a daily basis. But I think there's good (or at least justfiable) reason for it.

I'm in classes with almost all girls, almost all married girls. I never see them with their husbands, so I don't really envy them their husbands that much. I never see them in their kitchens, where the only dirty dishes are their own and everything is where they left it, so I don't often envy that. But everyday, as I glance side to side in my classes I see ringed hands resting on desks. I glance front, I see ringed hands. I look at the teacher, ringed. I walk in to class, and there are two different conversations going on: in one, three girls getting married over Christmas are comparing wedding plans; in the other, two already married girls are discussing going to their in-laws houses for the holidays. All around, girls are talking with their ringed hands. My bare little hand feel almost conspicuously naked in the crowd of glittering adornments.

Oh well, this doesn't mean much, but it made me laugh and think, and that's enough to write about any day.