A friend of mine, unknown to half of my readership, wrote a blog about not over anyalyzing things, just jumping into the fray, and living things fully. About letting go and just taking action. I fully support that course of action for my friend. But it got me thinking about how I'm trying to do the opposite. The comment I left on his blog this morning:
"It's funny how we end up in different stages in our life. I'm currently in a stage where I'm trying desparately to hold myself back from jumping into a battle I want to fight and searching desparately for the "smart" decision and clinging to it. Smart decisions aren't my specialty."
It's true. They're not. I have, for years now, lived by the motto: Never let the prospect of future pain intefere with today's happiness. This may be wise or foolish. It let me be happy in sad situations, have lots of fun, and savor a million moments. But it also got me into trouble and left me in a lot of pain with no one to blame but myself several times. There were a lot of times where I sat back on my heels and said, wow, that was stupid and this hurts, but, wow, that was fun! So my recent project has been to make "smart" decisions. To not rush into pain headlong for the sake of present happiness.
And honestly, I've never felt more paralyzed. When your smartest course of action is inaction, it's frustrating. Every day I feel like I should be jumping into the fray, only to reanalyze it and continue sitting on the sidelines waiting for things to change without me. They say that madness is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting the different results. Doing nothing every day and expecting things to change seems mad to me.
But, there is no denying that, in this particular case, I should do nothing. Every sage advisor would tell me the same. So now I'm frustrated, helpless, but smart. Is this really progress?
6 comments:
I hate doing the smart thing. The smart thing is rarely the fun thing. I might steal your original motto, if you don't mind. That's pretty good. Just make sure to make a few headstrong, rush into the heat of battle decisions to keep things interesting, eh?
I say, stick to your gut and do what you feel is best. There will come another day where you can be impulsive and live for the moment again. People aren't meant to sit on the sidelines forever you know. Think of it as a resting point. A Place to cool off, take a break, and wait for whatever it is that will be coming your way.
I mostly make smart decisions. I think smart overrates what you're getting at, though--I mostly make *safe* decisions.
In the end, I don't recommend it. For all I've gotten badly hurt a few times, I'll take painful memories over dull ones. These days I'm trying to learn how to be impulsive.
To this I repeat our conversation of last night and add a loud "AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
And Dolphins do, indeed, have hair, but it requires a very advanced degree to be a dolphin SHAVER.
I don't think we know each other well enough Evie for me to be offering you life advice. But know that I do have an opinion.
Good luck. And I hope life works out for you OR you continue to make life great. Whichever philosophy you're currently in the mood for.
BTW, forgive me if you've mentioned this in one of your previous posts but, what does "on the jazz" refer to?
Post a Comment