Stickin' Around

Monday morning as I drove to school I was thinking about my future, and when I got here, I wrote this blog.  When I wrote it, the question was still speculative and slightly academic.  I thought I had months and months, maybe a year, to decide my future.  

I didn't.

I had about 24 hours.  

Monday afternoon, during collaboration, I found out that they had already hired someone with an eye toward giving them the GT position in another year (when the current teacher retires), and unless I spoke up fast, it would be assumed that I didn't want it. I don't think I knew how much I've been looking forward to teaching GT until I realized I might not have the opportunity after all.  

It was suddenly time to make the decision I'd been putting off for a year and that I'd meant to keep on putting off.  In the end it wasn't that hard.  Thoughts fell into place, and I acted on my gut instinct reinforced by some logic and prayer.  

Barring any unforeseen circumstances, I'll be staying in Utah for the next four or five years.  I'm going to start classes for my GT endorsement this fall, and I'm going to try and pound down  two independent study history courses this summer to work on my history endorsement.  I've talked to my department chair, my principal, and the current GT teacher and told them that I'm very interested in the position and not to rule me out, that I'm staying, that I'm serious, and that I'm willing to work hard and commit.  

I had some struggle looking at my Bucket List and seeing items like "Live in foreign country for at least a year."  That's much less likely to happen any time soon now.  But here is my reasoning:

I didn't have a specific dream picked out for after next year, just some vague ideas of things I could do if I decided that I wanted to, which I wasn't sure I did.  Most of the opportunities to live overseas that long would involve teaching TEFL, and many of the programs I've looked into are pretty lame.  I don't mind a cut in my living standards and salary, but I would mind stepping back into the role of assistant teacher who doesn't do any real teaching and who has no real influence.  I've been there; it's nowhere near as fulfilling as what I'm doing now, even if it was infinitely easier.

As I covered in Monday's blog, I can get a lot of the best things from both options as a teacher.  I can adventure during the summers, live in ecovillages, foreign countries, and travel to strange and new places.  Then I can come home to a career, a future, etc.  

Now, for the first time in years, I've got a five year plan.  I've got long term, specific, achievable goals again. It's a thrilling feeling.  I'm going to start learning and studying again, I've got things to prepare for, and I'm excited to start.  My immediate future is no longer the fuzzy question mark it's been for the past three years.  I've got things to plan and to make happen besides new dishes to cook, new hobbies to take up, and vague ideas of what may happen someday.  I'm going to live in the area, teach at this same junior high, work hard to get both my GT and history endorsements, and adventure the heck out of my free time. Of course, I should mention here that if The Man I'm Supposed To Marry shows up with a bouquet of flowers and whisks me away, I will totally drop all of this planning.  But, since TMISTM has been a little slow on making his entrance, I'm going to go ahead and plan a life I like and am excited about to live until he eventually shows up.  

So I'll be here.  You can count on me.  Save my phone number and address because they're going to stay the same.  Stability here I come.