Subject to Change

Decision time on my future is coming up in the next year or so.  Do I stay where I am, put down roots, work towards bettering my career and my situation in life and contribute to my retirement?  Or do I pay off my car loan, and take my act on the road somewhere, live in a foreign country, work college student jobs, join an eco village or the peace corps, go back to school for cooking or hair styling or hop trains or something?

Here are my thoughts, very subject to change, this morning:

Stay.  I like my job, and I like my school.  If I go adventure I could always come back to teaching, but not here, not at this school, and there's no guarantee I'd get a job at all with the current economy.

Stay.  If I stay I will most likely get to teach debate and GT at this school.  That would be pretty freakin' awesome.  I will pick up an extra endorsement, get tenure, maybe eventually get a classroom with a window.

Stay.  If I am a teacher, I can always go live in a foreign country for two months during the summer, not work a college job because I'll have benefits and salary, and come back to a job.

Stay.  Utah may not be where I picture myself "ending up," but it's a pretty good place.  It's easy traveling distance of both home and adventure of many kinds.  It's fairly central positioning in the west means I can get several awesome places in 10-15 hours or less.  The people here are generally pretty good and nice and stuff.  The weather's not so bad, and there's lots of places to climb, skate, listen to good music, etc.

But.  What if I stay and it's the boring, easy way out that I took because I was scared to take a chance?  Wouldn't I be awesomer if I took off to Zambia with the Peace Corps for two years, or taught English in who knows where or something?  Shouldn't I go live in the desert and eat crickets with the hippies because I can?  I've got no husband or family to require me to settle down and be responsible, so shouldn't I go be crazy?  I've got the back up plan, the degree, the teaching certificate, the teaching experience, why should I miss out on this opportunity to be whatever crazy person I feel like being month to month?

On the other hand.  Staying would enable me to have some of the best of both worlds.  I could adventure like an adolescent in the summers, and still work toward my life and degree, etc.  In fact, because having a salary means that I don't have to work during the summers, that frees me up for two and a half months of pure adventure if I want.  That's a pretty good deal, right?

But.  If I stay, I may never get away like that during the summer.  If I start classes for another endorsement I'll have to stay in the summers and go to class.  I'd miss family reunions, etc., and I worry that one way or another, I'd never take off like I meant to.  I'm not this summer, and I originally had big plans to go work with women in India, etc.

Anyway, all of these thoughts may change tomorrow, and I'm definitely staying to teach at least one more year, so I have a long to time to keep thinking, but those are my thoughts this morning.