Wednesday, May 11, 2011

That's Holy Miss E. to You, Puny Mortal!

"Miss E., would you like to be a GOD in my World?"  Poor soul, he said it so formally, and in such a loud voice, that the whole class stopped talking and started giggling.  Then he started blushing.

"A goddess?" I corrected.

"Yeah," he said, clearly embarrassed by the eyes and amusement of the entire class.

"Goddess of what?" I always double check.  I don't want to end up as the goddess of awful teachers, stupidity, or something unflattering.  I don't mind being the goddess of torture or homework or teachers or English--I don't mind playing the villain, but I don't want to be insulted.

He stood there stammering for a moment under the double scrutiny of the class and his teacher, then his eyes fell on the boxes of crayons behind me.  "Crayons!" he said, relieved.

"I'd love to be the goddess of crayons."

The class laughed and returned to their talking and working on their projects.  They're making up their own mythologies (which explains how this conversation came about in the first place).  As they returned to drawing their maps, I heard one remark, "That is the best pick up line ever!"

Recovering his confidence as he reached his desk, he began to enumerate on my powers as the goddess of crayons.  I will have a magical crayon that can draw anything. If I want to draw "a magical pony horse," I could draw it and then ride away on it.

I have been many things over the years, including the Cabbage Avenger at one point (but that was in high school), but I think this is my first time as Evana, the Goddess of Crayons, wielder of the Crayon of Power.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Dread Myth #1



I think I forget how much research I've done on dreadlocks.  I started researching them years ago, and so I forget how common some of the common misconceptions about dreadlocks are.  It always surprises me when I get a question from a friend that I thought everyone knew the answer to.  Then I have to remind myself that I am the only one of my friends who's ever wanted dreads, so I'm the only one I should expect to know that stuff.

As this happens more an more often, I'm beginning to realize that, given the information all my friends and family have about dreads, they are going to be much more alarmed about what I'm doing.  So, in order to foster the dissemination of correct information and an end to misconceptions about what I'm doing with my hair in a few weeks, I am going dispel a few of the most common myths about dreadlocks.  I'll spare you all the minute details I've picked up through my obsession, but I'll try and communicate the gist of my research so you don't think I've gone crazy.  Well, any crazier than I actually have.

Myth #1
You Get Dreads By Not Washing Your Hair...Ever...

Wrong.  Well, you can get dreads that way, and some people still do, but they are becoming the minority.  Dreads do not have to be dirty.  They do not have to smell bad.  I'll be dreading my hair clean--I'll shower right before we put them in.  Then I'll continue to wash my hair multiple times a week (although probably not every day) for the duration of my time with dreads.  My dreads will probably smell like shampoo, just like everybody else's hair.

"Neglect" dreads, formed by never coming your hair and washing it really really infrequently take a loooong time to fully form.  Like a year.  When they do form, they are irregular (and probably smelly), forming in all different sizes and at all different speeds.  Let's be honest, I respect those dreads.  Those are gonna have some serious personality, but it's not gonna be my personality.  I can't stand to be that insanitary, and since I intend to continue to be a responsible professional and adult, I will be washing my hair.  The "hands off" approach to dreads can also leads to your dreads eventually beginning to "congo," or to combine into mega dreads.  Some people think this is awesome.  I think it's gross.

nappy hair, dreadlock, most disgusting picture ever, gross dreads
This is an extreme example, but it's still gross.
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/217/nappyhairna5.jpg/sr=1

So I will be actively dreading my hair (hence the dread party), and I'll be maintaining it afterwards.  Purists, and there are a few out there, may feel like this is the sell-out way to get dreads, but I think the majority of dreadheads are beginning to move away from the smelly, hippie, all-natural stereotype.  And thank heaven.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Disappearing Act

Exactly four weeks until I get dreadlocks!!  That's not what this post is about, but I couldn't resist.  28 days!

This post is going to sound a lot like bragging.  It might be bragging, actually, but dang it I'm proud of myself!  I'll keep it short so that you will only be mildly disgusted by my pride.

ahem.

I have disappeared.

Well, to be more specific, 15 pounds of me have disappeared since December.  I'm lighter, I'm leaner, and by golly I am healthier than I was.  I can bound up flights of stairs, touch my forehead to my knees with my legs straight, climb a V2, do 10 man-style push ups, keep my balance in some crazy yoga positions, and jump rope better than I have since I was 10.

My roommates and friends are sick of the following phrase:

My pants don't fit.

They don't!  I shrunk out of the pants I bought this year, so I pulled out my old pants that were a trifle smaller.  I wore those until they hung on me like sack cloth.  Then I bought new pants.  Now they don't fit either.  I wore a pair of shorts yesterday that I never wore at all last summer.  They were too small.  Now I can slide them off with unbuttoning them.

Honestly, what I'm proud of isn't so much the actual weight loss, although I'm thrilled about that, but the fact that I did it.  I said I could do it, and then I made it happen in short order.  It took some work, some money, some dedication, and some doing of things I didn't always feel like doing, but I kept at it.  Keeping at things is not something I'm usually good at.  So I feel like this is not so much a victory over my waistline as it is a victory over my own character flaws.  That's what I'm proud of, not that I conquered my body, but that I conquered my mind.

I should mention that my new size does have it's disadvantages.  For example, my pants don't fit.  Do you have any idea how much money I have spent on clothes in the last five months?  I've kept my wardrobe light, not wanting to replace everything at once, and now the things I have replaced don't fit, either.  Large amounts of my clothes are now rather sacky on me.  Another disadvantage is that when I belay someone I can't keep my feet on the ground anymore.  If they fall I go up six inches.  Those extra 15 pounds were useful ballast that way.

For those of you who haven't already left this post in disgust, here is my 5 step recipe for success:

1.  Find things you like to do that are physical exercise.  It shouldn't be a punishment.  I don't like to run, so I didn't.  I went skateboarding, I went climbing, I joined a yoga studio.  It helped a lot that exercise was fun for me.  At the end of the day I didn't dread another of a strict and punishing regimen.  Instead I thought, "I get to go rock climbing again tomorrow? Score!!"

2.  Eat when you're hungry, not when you're bored.  Don't eat after 8 p.m.  You'll feel a lot like more like getting out of bed to go running or do yoga if you don't feel like an elephant crawled into your stomach and died.  Give up dessert.  If you can't give up dessert completely (and I usually can't), tell yourself you'll only take half of what you would usually take.  If you eat it slowly, it still takes as long and you get the same amount of that yummy taste in your mouth.

3.   Healthy snacks.  Since you're exercising all the time, you're going to be hungry all the time.  If you don't prepare ahead you'll head straight for the easy-to-access food that isn't so good for you.  I have developed a pretty severe hummus addiction.  I consume whole bags of celery, carrots, and peppers.  I eat sprouts now.

4.  Prioritize your exercise.  Don't be afraid to put it before your work, your friends, and your chores.  This will only make you a slight jerk hopefully.  Most days I do it before I grade papers, often before I hang out with friends.  "I'm sorry, I can't hang out because I'm off to go skateboarding by myself" feels weird the first few times you say it, and not getting your work done because you were rock climbing may feel like slacking, but hey, that's how you get healthy!  You're just achieving a different goal than work at that moment.  Your health is important.  Indulge in it.

5.  Speaking of indulging, you may need to spend some money.  In my case, a lot of money.  I can do that because I don't have a family to support.  Besides, it's my health and happiness I'm investing in, right?  Not to mention I'm picking up coordination, balance, and skills.  So the yoga membership, the climbing membership, the membership at the local rec center, the new workout clothes (turns out you can't make it on one sports bra and one pair of sweats when you exercise twice a day), the new clothes when your old ones don't fit, and the gallons of hummus are all worth it.  In my case I sold my iPod touch, and bought a shuffle and a classic.  It's probably extravagant to have two iPods, but I use both of them every single day.  I don't regret it at all.

And that's it.  If you happen to have a lot of spare alone time (I did) and some spare money (sorry savings account), anybody can do it!  What I mean is that I am lucky to be at stage in my life when I can do crazy things like this.

And I'm proud of myself.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Oops

When I was in high school, I spent a lot of time with debaters.  I was one, and I hung out with the other debaters at lunch, before and after school, and at the long weekend tournaments.  Anytime I wasn't actively required to be somewhere else, I was in the debate room.  In the debate room, one heard vocabularies that few high schoolers possessed, but there was one word that was used more often than any other by the debaters on my squad:  Hooch.  We called EVERYONE hooches.  It could be a playful or a bitter thing.  If you hadn't seen someone in a while it was appropriate to say something like, "I haven't seen you in forever, hooch! Where have you been?"  If someone stole your chair at lunch, they were a chair hooch.  If someone ate a fry when you weren't looking, they were a fry hooch.  If you were really annoyed the tone of the word would change.  When someone lied to you they were a hooch, when someone did something squirlly in a debate round they were a hooch.  We called each other, friends and enemies, hooches at least a 100 times a day.

Years have passed, and I don't say hooch nearly as often as I used to, but today it came out.  Unfortunately, it came out in the middle of class as I was describing the 9th labor of Hercules: "...basically, all of this happened because Hera's a HOOCH!"  The two girls I was talking to nearly wet their pants they were laughing so hard.  One's fake eyelashes were in serious danger of being cried off.  Some of the other students asked me what it meant.  Then some other students thought I had sworn.  After much giggling, class got back underway.

Oops.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Student work:

The task was to come up with a word that uses the suffix -ship and use the word in a sentence.

Although this student did successfully use a word that uses -ship, the resulting sentence was pretty funny:

"The craftsmanship of the statue was gastronomical."

I don't think that's what he meant, do you?  :)

D-Day

Two years ago, after school got out on the last day of school of my first year of teaching, I went and cut off my hair.  My nearly elbow length, curly (permed) hair turned into the super short hair I'd been coveting since 6th grade.  Now, the last day of school of my 3rd year of teaching is approaching, and it's time for drastic hair action once again.  One month, only 31 days until D-Day.  Not the original D-Day of course, that's technically 34 days away (June 6th).  My D-Day is Dreadlocking Day.  The day I get dreads.  The day I've been talking about, researching, waiting for, and obsessing about for months now.  I've talked about it (well, babbled actually.  Saturday a friend of mine actually fell asleep on my couch while I gabbered on about it), dreamed about it, and blogged about it (three times, actually, for two years.  One, Two, Three).

My plan/hope is to get dreads the evening of the last day of school, June 3rd.  I've been telling myself I needed to tone down the obsession until my dreads were closer to reality--say, a month or so.  Now that they are only a month away, I'm going to be unleashing it with full fury.  I'm probably going to make the already annoying me look like a reasonable person.  I ordered my dread kit on Saturday.  I did spend $100, but getting dreads in a salon would cost at least four times that much, and the kit comes with enough supplies to help me finish and maintain my dreads for the next six months or so.  (Dreads actually take three months to get mature, and about a year to really fully be finished).  It should arrive this week or next so that I can begin to paw through it eagerly once a day until June 3rd.  It's also time to begin to reread and review all the dreading tips, instructions, and videos I've already seen twice.  It's time to begin mentally and physically prepping for my yet "unborn" dreadlocks.  Is all of that really necessary?  Probably not, but it gives me something to do while waiting impatiently for D-Day to come.  It's time to actually begin over preparing and planning for my Dread Party.

http://lh6.ggpht.com/_T08ujz0D0Z0/SNbMawY8ONI/AAAAAAAABj0/EjqfeGXk6Uw/100_1814.jpg
The Dread Party is the recommended method getting dreads.  Basically, you invite lots of friends over, provide instructions, all the supplies, plentiful food and entertainment (movies, etc., dreading can get boring), and get them to help you lock up your hair.  Since dreading your hair can take hours, the more hands you have to help, the faster it goes.  Luckily my hair is fairly short, so it shouldn't take more than several hours. (I've heard horror stories of 20 hours, but those from people who did by themselves, alone, and had very long hair.)  With my very short hair, and a few friends, it shouldn't take more than four or so hours.  Possibly less.  Which brings me to the matter at hand, I need some friends to help.  Anyone, male or female, bond or free.  I'll happily provide pizza, soda, movies, and long-lasting gratitude to anyone who wants to come and help.  The more people we have, the faster it will go, and the more fun it will be.  Heck, if you want to show up that day just to hang out, eat food, take pictures, and heckle, you'd still be welcome to come.  You do not need any prior experience with making dreadlocks.  I don't have any, and no one there will have any either, I'm pretty sure.  If my dreads look fantastic, you'll get the credit, if they look awful, I'll blame the fact that getting dreads was risky business in the first place.  Besides, I can use all the moral support I can get.

If you're interested, or if you know anyone who might be interested, let me know sometime this month.  Comment here, text  me, facebook me, email me, call  me, send a carrier pigeon.  This is one hair adventure I can't do alone.

gettyimages.com

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Days 7-10: The Rest of the Trip

Let's face it, it's time to sum up.  It's been two weeks since we got back from our trip, and there's still four days to go.  Kudos to those of you who have been actually reading these insanely long blogs.

In case you missed them, here are links to Day Zero, Day One, Day Two, Day Three, Day Four, Day Five, and Day Six.

The last few days of our trip were spent in Olympia with Allie's family.  After being friends and living together for nearly seven years, I'd still never been to her house or hung out with her parents.  It was time to fix that, time to get to know the people I'd been hearing about for all these years.  And I have to say, Allie's family are good people.  I thoroughly enjoyed staying at their house, hearing their stories firsthand, and getting know them for myself.  We even managed to get Sar her driver's permit while we were there.  I'm really only going  to cover the tourist stuff we did in this blog, but in between everything I mention there are evenings and home cooked meals and mornings spent just hanging out around the family that were some of my favorite parts of the trip.

Thursday morning Allie and I set off for some time in Seattle.  Our first stop was the Space Needle.  The Space Needle, along with the Golden Gate Bridge, is going into my list of landmarks and monuments that I never thought would live up to the hype about them, but turned out to be pretty dang cool in real life.


Allie and I decided to live in style and eat at the revolving restaurant at the top of the needle.  It turned out to be a fantastic idea because it was cold and rainy and windy, and we got to watch the city swing by slowly from the warmth and comfort of an indoor table while eating roast vegetable gateau.  Someone even came by to take our free picture that we could download and email to ourselves.

It's not the world's greatest photo, but it does prove we were there.
After lunch we did head up to the observation deck, where I learned a lot more about the history of the space needle that made it even cooler.  By the time we left, I was even considering buying some sort of souvenir from the place.  Almost.  Of course we did take one picture outside on the walkway, but it was cold and wet and we booked it back inside pretty dang fast.

From there walked a cold and rainy half mile through Seattle to Pike's Place Market.  We'd both been to Pike's multiple times in the past, so we didn't spend time at every single booth, but we did see some cool things.  My favorite was this guy.

Good ragtime music in the rain?  Count me in.  We also found the Chinese ring salesman who sold me the ring I bought on my last trip to Seattle almost two years ago.  When I'd bought that ring, I'd been a bit skeptical of it.  Sam, the energetic salesman ("Buy one for you; one for your boyfriend!") assured me that it wouldn't turn my finger green, go grey instead of silver, and would only be shinier with time.  All of that for only $5.  The man was right.  I love that ring.  I only take it off to rock climb, knead dough, and wash the toilet.  So of course I bought another one.

Friday we picked up Allie's little sister from school and dropped her and her dad off at the DMV for while.  This left Allie time to show me Olympia in all it's glory.  She kept calling it "small" and "dinky."  I kept reminding here that I'm from Idaho, and that Olympia was, in comparison, New York City.  The coolest part was the library, which was located in a freakin' forest, had bear statues out front, and looked like a cabin mansion on the inside.


Have I ever mentioned that I love bears? I do.  A lot.  They scare me, but I love them.





Since we had some time to kill while Sar picked up her driver's permit, we started playing with the legos.  I was about to suggest building the tallest whatever we could, when Allie suggests something real and something hard.  She wants to build San Francisco.  So she worked on the bridge, and I worked on the skyline.  In the end, it looked pretty darn cool, and we were very proud of ourselves.




After the library, we headed to Tumwater Falls, which has some of the coolest playground toys ever.  And pretty falls (3 of them).  Apparently we didn't take any pictures of the falls, just the playground equipment.

We'll be joining the circus soon

The fearless crew.


I'm all strong and stuff!
On Saturday Allie's Dad, Allie, Allie's sister Sar, and I headed to Priest Point Park and walked through some pretty toxic mud to look at the Puget Sound.  There were dozens of signs warning us to shower after touching the ground.  But it was beautiful.  There were so many sea shells that I couldn't avoid stepping on them, and the crunch crunch made my skin crawl a bit.


After so many hundreds of pictures on the trip, we were running out of creative picture ideas. 
Percival Landing was our next stop, and we walked along the docks for a long time, looking for loons and talking.  On the way back we stopped at a store called Archibald Sisters, where you can buy anything random (absinthe flavored gum, bandaids that look like bacon, etc.).  There I bought some Star Trek fridge magnets, some pins to put on the pirate flag in my classroom, and some candles that looked like joints for my Pot-free 420 Party.

Later that day we went on a long drive with Allie's mom, which took us to Boston Harbor, where we looked at sailboats, seagulls, and beautiful water.
The next stop was Burfoot Park, where we hiked down to the beach through incredibly green forests and I geeked out on the green, and then on the water.  This trip involved a lot of me just wandering around with big eyes and sighing at the beauty and wonder of the things I saw.  It also involved a lot of me climbing on top of things and taking pictures of me dangling over things, balancing on things, and generally making my traveling companions nervous.  Except for Allie.  Allie never worried.  Angie wouldn't look when I dangled over the waterfall, Allie's dad tried to talk me out of a few mossy logs on hillsides, but Allie never batted an eye.  Either she has great faith in my balance or doesn't care very much if I fall.




Sunday morning Allie and I took one last stop at Wonderwood Park, where I walked around and sighed some more.  And then I climbed on things.  Again.

I got this idea from The Jungle Book.  I get a lot of good ideas from that book.

After that came church, then dinner, then it was time to go.  Allie's dad and her sister drove us to the airport, and we took a short flight home.  Cuny picked us up and we drove back to our apartment, dumped our junk, put on clean pajamas (packing that lightly meant that we had very few changes of clothes...very, very few), and collapsed gratefully into our own beds.  Monday morning came much too early, with a return to school, only a week until state testing, and hugely long blogs to write about our trip.

So there you have it.  The last insanely long blog post about the trip.  There are more pictures on facebook, and I have about 800 on my computer, so I really did edit this waaay down for the blog.  Overall, the trip was fantastic, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.  Allie and I are already brainstorming about Memorial Day weekend.